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Monday, July 31

horrible, frightening experience...

It has been days since the 7th lunar month has started.
And i have a story to share...

It was last friday night at around 10pm. The entire camp was quite for almost everyone has already booked out for their weekend. Only those who just came back from the ndp security event were in the camp for we would have another duty the next day.

yk and wk went to bathe after their long tiring day. I myself took my time to settle down, preparing my bathing accessories for shower. I held onto my soap bottle, shampoo, and face wash with my left hand, while hang my towel on my right shoulder. Leaving my right hand free to open and close the door.

"ohh, everyone must have done showering by now, i must hurry else our kfc dinner will be finished by them later" i told myself, and off i walked towards the exit.

Just as i was turning at a bend. What i saw in front of me was horrible, and frightening... There was a figure that jumped out from the corner. Something unsightly pounded towards me and made a deafening screech.

Startled. My first reaction was to scream. But while doing so, i found myself using my free right knee to thrust infront, defending myself from whatever it was. Nonetheless, the creature bend forward upon my kick hence minimised my attack. Immediately, i used the chance to use my fist to hammer down its back. It all ended off with a loud 'whack' when i heard "Ouch!"

In the less than 2 second ordeal/ shock. I realised the hidious creature that was whining in pain before me was none other than WK....

My shock, turned to laughter and guilt. Guilt in terms of i've hurt someone else, laughter in terms of not only that i'm laughing at myself for what i've done, but also i always wanted to hit someone for a long time... very shuang...

Wk's conclusion: Always think twice when u wanted to play with td, u will never know what to expect from him....

|[ zofz | 7:46 PM ]|

Tuesday, July 18

gifts!

i think its just simply because my birthday is on this month, that is why i'm rather sensitive to people who are celebrating their birthday as well..

Sx called me just now, he asked me if i wanted a swiss watch.
present for me har? i asked.
no lah, i sell to you.

Certainly, my next question would be WHY?

'oh, its a present from my father, cos he rmb my birthday wrongly and gave it to me yesterday....'
'Errmm, its the thought that counts mah... at least he bother to buy you something.. my side dont even have lor..'

|[ zofz | 5:01 PM ]|

Sunday, July 16

pizza2

BBQ Pizza combo! $19.90
1 regular pizza
4 chicken dramlets
4 bread
Serving 2-3 people
I ate the entire combo

$29.90
2 regular pizza
Serving 4-5 people
My brother, sister and mother ate this.

Is it me or are the pizzas getting smaller just like the burgers from mac? hmm....

|[ zofz | 9:44 PM ]|

pizza!

Our family always got a hard time to convince pizza hut that giving one packet of cheese and chilli flakes for a home delievery of 3 pizzas is not enough. We even made them go back to their outlet to take more before we sign anything. Actually, it is just mother who was doing all the talking.... The poor delievery man had to go back to make delievery again...deliever cheese of course.

To those who witness my awful table manners in resturants, you would have witness what happens to the bottle of cheese if its placed infront of me... Bwahaha!!

Something must be done, so i sent them a feedback:

Good day,
This feedback is of relation to the home delievery order made on 16th july 2006, reference number:3517234.

Pizza Hut, undeniably is a big organisation in Singapore with a long history of 25 years. Therefore, it is difficult to accept the fact that this organisation can have their reservations in giving the consumers Parmesan cheese and chilli flakes for their home delievery service.

Our family has been making orders from pizza hut at least once every two months. Eventhough we always requested for more cheese and chilli flakes during telephone order, eventually we would only find 1 packet of each or even none at all.

It is seriously ridiculous for such a big organisation to be only giving out 1 packet of cheese for a order of 3 regular pizzas, despite the fact that this request was made during order. And this is not the first and only incident that occured.

Nonetheless, we were fortunate to have understanding delievery man, to make an extra trip back to the outlets to take the appropriate requirement of cheese and chilli flakes for a proper meal. For that, I thank you for having such a considerate crew working in this organsation.

No doubt, there are people who does not eat cheese or chilli flakes for their pizzas. But, would not it be better if cheese and chilli flakes can be delievered without needing to make the request? I see no reason, other than cuting the expenditure, by saving up on cheese and chilli flakes from delievery.

Seriously, we do not need a feedback email to understand problems that are already there, As long as, we are able to be more observant and understand the needs of the people, such inconvenience can surely be reduced.

Thank you.

This mail is typed in a rush so i can rush down by the time the delieveryguy came back with my cheese so i can eat it. Tried to minimise my grammar mistakes as much as i can and at the same time add some barbs. Really wonder if such feedback thingy works.... are there someone reading and implement it ? hmm,... and i wonder...

|[ zofz | 5:17 PM ]|

stiff neck

Help ! help! someone chop my head off...

MY neck was ok upon waking up, it all happened when i sat on the car on my way to unit for my duty this morning.

I can only reasoned that this is due to over stress on my neck during the intensive painting session for the past 2 days. It has been more than 6 yrs since i last painted something, my recent art work are all pencil,(those black and white one)....Painting always bring back great memories, i can still rmb my greatest workpiece made during sec 2, its a combination of abstract art and paint. This art piece is published on my school annual the following year.

Another reason was driving, was driving along mandai at 11pm last night. To those who know me well shld know something is not right. So yah, thats all i have to say.

Anyway, my neck very xin ku.... can do anything during my duty just now. My boss kept on making fun of me...hey! look at that bird up there!! try doing ke-kenan rulus! go to the massage palour... make it unstiff...

Someone pls chop of my head....

|[ zofz | 5:09 PM ]|

Saturday, July 15

reading other people's blog

apart from typing my life story, i do read other people's blog as well. Its nice to know that the people whom you know are doing well eventhough you have not met them for quite some time.

One of those blogs which i really like reading is from my nj maths teacher, neo, his link is on the left. Despite the fact that he updates his blog once every month, and his post are short and brief, his ideas can be very complex.... a typical maths teacher i would say...

This is from his previous post " I shall let go of you so that I can again be free from the shackles that I placed on you. I shall attempt to undo the wrong I have done. With this thought I shall meditate and with the realisation that comes, let me be free once again. And so shall you. "

Once again, i must emphasise the point that all genius, and musicians behave very uniquely. (though people always say i'm weird...hmm)

|[ zofz | 8:21 PM ]|

arts! part 2

taking a break after a continuous squarting down painting for the past 3 hrs.
I'm running out of yellow paint. My special cup which i have been using to wash paintbush for the past 10 yrs is missing. Made me so uncomfortable during the whole process...

I cheated. Printed out some logo and words from the computer can got father to cut them out so i can just paste on it. Thats the least he can do for me. Brother gave up in finding the special cup for me, he in turn sat on my bed commenting how ugly everything is and how will people NOT appreciate my work eventually.

Mother just came back from her singing/dancing. Didn't really see her, but heard her movements downstairs, lets hope she brough back goodies to eat.

My art piece looks promising... at least better than how it looked this afternoon, after my medics tried to help me...
The story goes like this: i came to office and saw my 3 medics chatting, i task them to help me with my work. Certainly, if i can do it within 10 mins, i wouldnt have asked for their help. Ended up, they spent 10 mins to complete my task which i would expect them to take like 2-3 hrs.... I can only bring this conclusion to that i've failed to give clear instructions...

For the past 3 hrs, i've been clearing up the mess they made and to add the colours...Let hope, lets hope...

|[ zofz | 12:40 AM ]|

Friday, July 14

Arts!

Was planning to have only one art piece done this year "Purity". Its the first partially non-abstract art work i was intending to do after so many years. I even drafted out the rough sketch for my menifesto...

But i guess, before i can start, i was assigned to do another work...Drawing a map...

You never know when a skill you learnt come in handy...

Will be burning my night later for this... hopefully everything goes well... hopefully..

|[ zofz | 9:08 PM ]|

Wednesday, July 12

lets dance!

I've been learning salsa dance for a few months already. I always thought that i'm one of those better students in the class. When down to union square for the first time yesterday, it is like a pub only different is that people who salsa come to dance. So basically, the place is filled with dancers.
I must agree, that place is much sopicated than normal clubs/pubs i've been (of cos its not a fair comparison for i resented the place for its smoky, dark, uncomfortable environment)
Drinking and loud music aside, the place is crowded with people dancing and they are really good.
Its more like a high class pub i would say. Entry fee is much cheaper than normal clubs eventhough more can be achieved from there.

Was amazed by how many professionals who were displaying their skills were there. No doubt, i was too embarrass to show my skills in front of them, despite that ang mo girl in our girl approached me for the first dance. According to her, she asked me to dance first cos she felt i was very good in the class. Greatly disappointed her, for i can't think of any move off hand.

One of these days, i would plan of one routine i would use for my dance....
Really felt out of place and unconfortable then. Probably was because of the club like environment, and that for my skills, i don't feel that i belong there.Left within an hr.

|[ zofz | 4:21 PM ]|

Saturday, July 8

Took the first step

Got a lift via father's car this morning. For many years, unless there are other people, i would always be sitting at my usual seat at the rear right. For me, the image i have of him is always like this:










The only time i've sat beside him this year was during the time wk and yk took a lift in the car. I had no choice but to do so.

This morning, it is different. I sat beside him. To many i think you would be wondering what am i talking abt, its just sitting beside him only mah... but trust me, it took quite alot of courage for me to do so.

And off we went.

The journey was the most difficult part. Never in my life i hesitated so much in that situation to speak. For the next 15 mins i was thinking how do i start. The awkward silence was deafening. Deep inside me i was laughing. you can speak so freely with strangers and friends, yet you are like that to him....you are weird...are you going to say it or not?

My heart was going to explode

It was during the last 5 mins of the journey that i picked up all my courage and told him something, something about myself that he never knew about. I was surprised that i at last spoke to him.

The first step is always the hardest. I'm glad i did it today. I don't think i'll find the courage ever again if i gave up during the first day.

Went out to eat breeks with yc and jb. One word: fabulous!
Why am i so lucky to have them as friends.
They are the only two people i will never get them involve in my plans. I will not forgive myself if i ever do so. They are really too impt to me.
ITs not that my plans are bad or something, its just that my plan involves $$, large amount of it. All good relationships never involves $$. In any case if my plan backfired, at least i dont get them implicated.

Night was the most crucial. Its the execution for the impt decision i've made. There is no turning back back nor room for regret.
Its the first step to a dream in the reality... ...

|[ zofz | 10:13 PM ]|

Just another day

According to her, the day will just pass by like any other day.
But it certainly different. You are the one who shape your day. I made today a different day...

went out with the people i've been working closely with for the past 1 yr. Treated them swensen. Even though they have their flaw and problems which i felt rather irritated at times, they are the ones who were by my side all this while, and if i dont rely on them, there will be no one i can do so. They deserved the treat.

We rushed back to camp with the unfinished icecream cake cos we have commander's training.
I wasn't able to concentrate cos of the 'activiation' which stolen my sleep. BZ and nv both agreed that its so sweet of them to do such pranks. How thoughtful of them.
The only worry was the melting ice cream cake i left inside the not so freezing fridge. I shared the rest of the cakes with the rest of my platoon people. Everyone was so happy. Especially gu who ate like 3 slices without feeling ashame...

All the while, i kept on receiving msges. From my insurance manager and friends and stuff. All sending their regards. Its a pity i'm using my old phone else i'll need not to del old msges to make way for new one every few mins...I changed into my new shirt which was given to me as a present. It fitted just nicely.

went out to chevrons with yl to sing song. We chatted quite alot during the entire journey. I think i've amazed him with my thoughts. And i was rather surprise to hear that there are things and people we have similiar accessment of. Guess i wasn't the one who is critical.

I didn't know he is so unhappy with those people aroound him. "they have changed " They changed into someone he doesn't like... If i didn't talk to him, i wouldn't have known such changes actually happen. yl is another interesting people ive met. He was one of the many reasons why i made the decision last yr to be in my present unit. We have several similiar thoughts, i think we can become good business partner.

We sang with his friend, till the next day.

Will be meeting yc and jb later. this is getting more exciting...

|[ zofz | 1:29 AM ]|

Friday, July 7

be careful what you hope for

It was past twelve, i did the necessary receiving of birthday smses and replying 'thank you thank you'and immediately went to sleep. It has been a tiring yesterday, my yesterday was so packed, (and i forgot to mentioned that i bought a $150 worth of table tennis rackets and accersories to please myself with the prize money i won from the pools).

In addition, ganesha called at 6pm last night to tell me regarding a confidential trial on some equipment at 2-3am this morning and he needs to bring a few people down upon activitated.My initial thought was, the sickening ganesha, most prob he didn't know its my birthday, thats why want me to be involved in such things.

But later i thought, so what is your birthday? the world doesn't stop for you, you are just being what you always do by expecting people to be always considerate for you...
I promised him that i'll be there.

It was 1215am when ganesha sent me the sms.

I went to get change and pack my bag and went out. Expecting to see him in his car, getting ready to drive off, i didnt even wear my socks.

It was only when i saw him wearing shorts and slippers that i knew something was not right. He made me rush down for that!! i felt like bitting him alive. However, he immediately took out the birthday cake to stuff my mouth.... He set his phone to speaker mood. It was yk, the 'other' people whom was needed to be down whom i've called to verified. HE TOO IS AN ACCOMPLICE!!

They sang the birthday song and i ate the cake.

|[ zofz | 10:24 AM ]|

Thursday, July 6

Happy birthday to you...

Its a few more hrs before the time comes.
Just wanted to sort out my thoughts.

1)During the past few months there is this person whom i never wrote in my blog before. This person is a friend, a mentor, a teacher. His name is F. He was able to give me peace. He taught me how passion can change your life. And of cos, anything is possible if you set your mind into it. Met him this morning, he treated me for lunch. I'm not sure he treated me cos he knew its my birthday or just wanted to do so. Either way, its the thought that counts.
"You must always have a target if you want to improve"
"If its too hard for you to do so, just do it slowly"

F is on of the very impt people during this yr of my life.

2) I've made another impt decision once again. I really wonder if it is necessary to make impt decision every birthday. I made a decision to where i am now exactly 1 yr ago. And i've made a decision of where i'm going today.

3) My family celebrated my birthday today. Cos tml we will be very busy. There was a suddenly melancholic feeling, upon me blowing up my candles. (Two candles, how come this yr so little... hmm?) I suddenly rmb my wish last yr which reminds true, and thus made the same wish with some additional fine prints inside as well...

4) Path in life
After accessing every advice given to me for the past week. I came up with several conclusion though it is rather obscure at time point of time.
I'm glad i'm constantly improving myself.

5) There are people in our lifes who come and go like the wind. The wind which gave you a sudden ease from your tiredness and bypasses you without you realising it.
I always wanted to be wind like that. Able to alleviate the problems from others, even if they didn't appreciate it or not.Anyone can be a wind. But now, i want to be something more than that, for i know i can do even more. I want to be the light, the light that chase all the darkness within you away, the light that you need so you can see clearly with your heart. The light that makes everyone shine brighter than any flames. Something like that will do.

Hence before the next 2 hrs has come, for the last time i'll be saying, "i'm still at my teens..."

|[ zofz | 9:16 PM ]|

Wednesday, July 5

How long was it since we last change our bedsheets?

"How long was it since we last change our bedsheets?"

This is the sentence i wanted to ask nv today, i ended up asking several times with the below combinations, rephrasing it upon knowing the sentence was wrong:

"how long since was it..."
"how long since have we been changing our..."
"since how long have we last change.."
"Our bedsheets have been changing for how long.."

"Aiyah! Our bedsheets how long haven changed har?"

nv: "Cannot! I will not reply you unless you get your sentence right!"

It continued for a few more tries and i gave up...

Why is that so?

Simply, I can't get myself to concentrate recently. The powerful feeling inside me is not strong enough to support the lost and insecure mood i've been having.

IF i'm living in the whole all by myself, this powerful feeling will be able keep me strong forever. The selfish, irresponsible me will be happy. During this period when i just look into the interest of myself, accept everything as it is, enjoying every moment of it, i can be very happy.

You are not alone.
my boss, kenneth, has been giving me advice which made me feel that there are more things out there in this world i can do and need to do. There are things that i need to be done, goals need to be fulfilled, dreams to be chased. And with my current satisfaction of life, it is certainly not enough to fulfill my goal.

" Differentiate reality from fantasy!" he said.

THOUGH I'M NOT RUNNING AWAY FROM MY PROBLEMS ANYMORE, AND HAVE COURAGE TO FACE IT, I STILL DO NOT HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE IT.

Fantasy: I don't want to grow up. I can forever be willful and irresponsible. I can depend on father and mother for anything i want. I can throw tantrums anytime i want and people will give in to me. The problems can be left for others to settle, i don't need to care. I can be lazy, other people can help me do. I'm pure, nothing can pollute me into the dirty reality.
By living in this fantasy, i can be very happy until something happens and i'll just collapse.

Reality: I have grown up. There are people who are dependent on me to shine, there are people who needs me to solve their problems. I can't be willful and irresponsible anymore. There are goals and dreams that need to be pursued. Throwing tantrums can't get you anywhere for no one will pity you and give in to you. There are responsiblities that only i can accomplish, deep down i know.
There are so much more i can achieve.

Father, for the first time in my life, talked to me very seriously abt life as well. He too was giving me advice. A certain indication that something must be improved.

There are some points which both said exactly the same!! which is so xie men, or nicer way, coincidental.

Today is my boss birthday, i bought him a very intricate, unique shaped anti-wind lighter so he can smoke any time any where. It was engraved with our team's initial, A.K.A. Alex, kenneth and me. He too was having some pre birthday blues yesterday, singing funny songs and telling me weird things when driving me in his car... I guess, it happens to everyone.

I found jy to be very li hai and liao bu qi, i really admired her for her strength, and character, polly built up from a young age due to her family problems. Despite her mother's death and father's actions, she was still able to cover up the scars she was suffering and continue to shine brightly. Death, upon anyone in my family is something i dare not think of... If something like that happens to me, i really got no idea what to do, maybe i'll just sit on corner and daze around till something else happen i guess.

"This character is brought up by situation." she said the night before.

And because of that, i think that what makes her so special to the extent there are people i know who like her (despite the package!! haha opps :p). And polly thats why, i still stay in contact with her. She's a amazing friend.

Called jy and alan the night before, to share my feeling of lost, and insecurity. I'm glad they are willing to listen to the rubbish i don't even know what i'm talking abt. Alan knew for he too experienced it. Jy just know i'm acting super non-td. She did what she always do best, to listen. (and i still dont know how come everytime i talk to her i will always burst into the super enthusiastic mood and that always do the trick. maybe deep down, i know she suffers more than me, mine is incomparable to hers, unconsciously i will appreciate the good things i'm having and suddenly become very happy.) Alan is a supercool friend to have, i'll norminate him for the best friend award for knowing my thoughts so well if this exist...

I have been doing what i always do best for the last few times. 1) throwing tantrums in front of everybody, 2) being a nusance and insensitive by disturbing from their sleep 3) being irritating 4)acting gay and gaying around 5) being lazy by throwing work to others to do

I think i'll miss all these behaviour as i grow up. Of cos maybe i'll do something like that once in a while ba....

I make a pact to myself once again. I'll QUIT playing maple and silkroad from now on. Games like that will never end. My dreams and goal cannot be afforded to be stopped by time. If there is a need, i may just del away my account.

At times like this, i really need everyone who knows me to support me.

Do give me your support. So in the near future i can announce "To all my fans! thanks for your support thoughout these few yrs!"

This is the moment, the most crucial moment.

Show time!

|[ zofz | 9:45 PM ]|

Sunday, July 2

so many things too little time

i can't believe my 200th post was abt that hp which failed me once again... but then maybe i've been too rough on it, things tend to spoil easily with me around, rmbing the doors and equipment in my unit...

I'm now summarizing the things i've done this whole week, cos its really too pack and yesterday night and now was the only time i have to type this...

1) went out with jy last wed. I hinted to almost everyone i know abt my birthday, and apparently she is nice enough to buy me something, so there i was! We watched superman, the sneak preview. I found it very nice, and very typical superman show. I really like the feeling it gave abt how he came back after so many years and see how things and feeling changes.

It reminded me of chinese literature where the poet wrote abt how people changed yet the scenary reminds the same. It gave the feeling of void and emptiness... don't know how to describe.

2) gave the present i bought for zw and sx last wed and thru respectivly, for they are leaving me for good.
SX was in a bad mood when i gave him the present and thus he declined.
"Give to someone else" he said, trying to vent his frustration.
With that, i threw the present to the rubbish bin and told him in my usual tone, "This present if meant for you, if you dont accept it there is no point keeping or giving it to other people"

We went out at night to settle the things which troubled him.

For the last time during the journey, i've told him every wisdom i have been trying to tell him all these months. And this time, i really forced him to listen.

And i hope... ...

The present disappeared from the bin the next day, probably he took it back, i think.

3) Termites ! lizards! earthworms! disgusting!!
Was doing unit maintance day last friday. We were clearing the area when we found the above! IT was horrible!! we used thinner to try to burn all the termites to death!! Playing with fire can be so much fun!

4)Singing with ck during my duty at cityhall there last sat. Ck said that that was his first time singing... Actually i forced him to sing along with me... haha...
"you shouldn't follow the style of the singer, you shld sing with your own style!"
great advice from someone who never sing before, dont you think...

We sang and sang...

5) paintball!!
fun! exciting! Expensive! painful! Ouch!!

Paintball with ydc people this morning. Got several bruises and my hand bleed due to the impact... ouch... really wanted to share how this paintball is all abt but i really got no time..

6) went out with jc this afternoon. She was my jc gp groupmate. We never seen each other for more than 1 yr. Was rather suspicious why she was so on in going out... If i'm not wrong, she was just trying to maintain her social circle so it would be useful in the future.

It has been a very insightful experience with her today. Unlike my normal impression on her in the past (she's a retainee), she has a goal. And that really made one a very different person.

I have my own goal which i dont really share with people, or shld i say don't feel like sharing for all these while the people around me are living aimlessly. People are just looking forward to ord, and thinking their life is a waste in army. Seriously if jy is reading this i tink she will faint for the grammar errors and expressions, urgh. Anyway, she reminded me how impt is it to have a goal. Compare to hers, my goal is rather hazy and shattered, hers is solidified...

7) my boss kept on teasing me! He knows i'm always speechless for the complex surprising comments he gives! i think he really enjoys it! hmmpf!!

8) Few more days to my birthday. Pls let me be rebellious, irresponsible, willful, be coy, pure, inconsiderate and throw some tantrums for a little bit more.... just a while more will do.... just a bit more...

|[ zofz | 9:44 PM ]|

haywire

If its not for the fact that it cost $600 and its the only camera phone i'm permited to bring to camp, i would have smashed my 3230 on the wall or something...

It has gone haywire. Better sent it to repair before warrantly runs out this september...

|[ zofz | 12:28 AM ]|