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Saturday, April 30

1st half, checkmate~!

It has been quite sometime since i've laugh so much. Silly me. had a good laugh at myself together with my sectionmates. I smile quite alot, i think. Most of the time i smile because I'm happy and sometime i smile because I don't want people to know i'm sad and confused. But before i realised it, I'm actually smiling to cover up my mistakes . I guess i've overdone it. I think i should smile less and stop trying to act from now... Its a bad habit.

The experience in sispec is really something for me, Ive know myself even more then before. There was a period of time I was on my own, lessons once taught to me were soon forgotten. But now, I've started to remember all those lessons that are most important to me. And i've written it all in my book.

First half of bslc is over, really hope that the second stage is as worthwhile. 28 days will soon be over. I'll make full use of it.

|[ zofz | 1:38 AM ]|

Sunday, April 24

ex catwalk

had exercise catwalk for the past few days.
Cant rmb much of the specific details, shouldnt be placed on the blog in fact.
But just want to note down some happenings that occured else i'll forget.

First thing that comes to my mind now is the Looking for Andrew experience. Basically it was a thursday night when everyone was looking for andrew. It was told to us that he most prob got lost in the jungle we were in. Basically, the jungle was rather dense, can easily get lost if u lose ur bearing and sense of direction. We tried combing the entire area and even sent out other companies for assistance. Thought that the exercise will be cut due to his disapperance but he was eventually found 2 km away at ccp7. 7days for him....

That night was quite a strange night indeed. I was doing sentry with Tsz Ho at around 3pm when a mysterious person walked towards us. Tried asking who was he but no reply was made. Was about to shine touch at him when that guy back tracked. It was only the next day when we found out that we were not the only group that had such case. For Yanghui's slot, he heard rustling in the bushes but when he turned around no one was there. Then for Dev case, he claimed that he felt the presense of someone standing beside him.

Eventually, we talked about natha, a guy in out platoon that can see such things (and so was said). Come to think of it, Natha always fell out during soc and the exercise for a period of time to go to the medical centre for some problems, and those were the times when 'accidents' happened. Certainly, such rumors are spiced up upon every mouth...

Was woke up by jian qiang during the friday night. He was in a semi conscious state and was asking me where were the ammonitions. He was looking around him for it. I told him there was no ammunitions and continued sleeping. It was only the second day when i asked him wat happened. Jian qiang was dreaming that he was in charge of the ammonitions when he woke up, he panicked upon realising that the ammonitions he was in charge of was not around....

Became the enemy during one of the practice. Died serveral times. Realised that there are actually various position of dying. I specifically like one of the position, cos the view of that position is rather nice. That inspired me to draw something someday if i have the time...


During the course, i realised that i'm those person who do not like to ask questions. Not because i'm lazy to ask, but because i like the sense of mystery and its fun trying to figure out my doubts by observing and studying. Nevertheless, i soon realised that not asking questions is rather dangerous and irritating, especially when i used the trial and error method to figure out my doubts.... maybe i should ask more questions next time.

|[ zofz | 1:03 AM ]|

Sunday, April 17

house and man

Almost being knocked down by a car again today.
Come to think of it, i have been knocked over by a car 3 times and was almost being crashed 5 times. Nothing serious happened fortunately. Life is very fragile i should say and i feel that the chance of me dying on the road is very high.
That was one of the reasons I dont looking forward to have a driving license or to have a car, unlike my peers.

For most of my life, car and house always haunt me. They never failed to give me bad memories. Accidents, problems, incidence , unhappiness. Cars and houses are so troublesome but are necessities upon growing up. And grown up will be responsible for such stuff. That was why i don;t feel like growing up for quite a few years already. Probably because of this, I become someone who is very unreliable and immature. shouldering responsibilities and being reliable are signs of growing up. As what Mr yee said, I always try to escape from my problems. Simply to say, I have no courage to face them, similar to my gp..

People say that it is the situation that force you to grow up. In all my fantasy, I'll always be stuck at the same age. Maybe it is due to this, my personality sometimes splits. At times, I am reliable, smart, arrogant and responsible but sometimes it is the other way round, being nervous, careless and stuff. Nevertheless, at times when the situation is too much for me or when i'm very tired, i'll lost myself and start to stone between the two extremes. At that point, i'll be acting weird. Perhaps it is about time for me to move on. Once my book is completed within these 2 yrs, a second stage will be made. Like is so unpredictable...

|[ zofz | 12:39 AM ]|

Saturday, April 16

impression (16/4)

First impression really last. And the impression on someone depends greatly on the time, situation and place. This was the first time (i hope) i gave the wrong impression of myself. It was simply cos i had the appointment at the wrong time and was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Kind of ironical though. I just started to do my best when such things happened. I feel that i'm beginning not to understand humans anymore. Perhaps it is just me, I hope i'm wrong. Eitherway, this experience made me want to study psychology even more. Nonetheless, I'll take it as a challange to change the impression that was on me, hopefully it does not backfire.

After all these months, I starting to hate dogs. Literally and non-literally. In particular those who treats people like dogs and vice versa. Maybe its because i dont have such talent thats why i'm saying this. Bootlicking their master is something i'll never and couldn't do. Though it is just like a fair trade, be the dog and u earn the bone. I really cannot blame those who are born a dog, its in their genes. But for those who choose to act as dogs, i pity them. I hate dogs.

|[ zofz | 12:22 AM ]|

Saturday, April 9

Wandering wanderer

The theme for this week of sispec is Gypsy. Basically, we are doing navigation. Monday for the first session which our commander was leading us, everything went smoothly. We found all the checkpoints using very little time. The most embarrass thing happened during this session. I was carrying the singal set when we need to jump across a drain, and I fell into the drain with my back facing down. The signal set was really heavy. Fortunately, i was quick enough to use my hands to support myself else the signal set will be smashed. Nonetheless, i was in this awkward position of having all 4 limbs on the ground and face looking up. It reminded me of the gymnastic class i've gone through when i was sec 4 (the bridge...). I had to hang on at the position if not, the set will be squashed. Section mates helped me to pull me up.

Sgt Ong then looked at me and said "is anything lost from the signal set or not?", instead of "are you alright?"

It really made me wonder if it is because Sgt thinks the set is more impt than me or its because he trusted that i'm not so easily injured. Eitherway, I feel so relief that i din get anytrouble other then my pants muddy and wet.

The Second navigation was on thursday. i was with liyan, wei quan, dev and someone else from other section (fique i think... dunno how to spell). I feel that i made the wrong choice to be the first one to carry the signal set. I really made me too tired to say anything and eventually i was not very involve in the navigation, don't feel like contributing anything. However, we only found 1 checkpoint of the 2 at the last min, that was after they instructed us to return to end point. This was because the checkpoint, HERB, is right in the middle of the swamp, its block in all directions. It was during then i got seperated from the group and got lost. It was a frightening experience to be alone in a swamp shouting for my team, even if it is only 3-5 mins seperation... haha... . We were lucky to have Fique in our grp for he was the one who persisted on to walk a few more meters from the point where we turned back as we almost gave up.

Though we were all muddy to the knee level, we were so happy that we hugged one another and the tree as well.
Sadly, upon reaching the end point, we found out that the other detail in our section had lost their antenne of the signal set. And the person who was carrying the set all the way was my buddy. I could really see how panicky he was while he tired to explain to the commanders. And that reminded me that my exbuddy had lost his map during the navi 1. That made me wonder that my buddies made such mistakes as i was not around.

The next day, Friday, was Wanderer. The test for navigation. Due to some adjustments, i was transfer to my buddy's group. I felt very comfortable in the group as there were Darmen, Baoluo, Yee shen and Jian Qiang in there. They are those people who do not qiang feng tou and would listen to the view from others. Though our checkpoints were from one end to another and its in a star shape, we managed to find everything. Personally, i believe that it is because we listened and cooperate with one other, thats why we can complete it. I was so happy that i was able to proof Bao luo wrong. Bao luo was rather passimistic about this naviagation and said that we will fail the test. I heard complains abt him during navi 2 from his group members. That was why i tired my best to communicate with him during the test and hopefully try to bridge him to the rest of the group.

It was a fun experience for me as during all my years of navigation in npcc, i never met up with such challenging checkpoints.... maybe i'm beginning to like sispec liaoz... hahaha...

|[ zofz | 10:57 PM ]|

Saturday, April 2

2nd week

The 2nd week is coming to the end. Both joyful and sad. One of the sad things that happened was Ziyun's case and the case of Guan Hao (3401). Lets talk abt Guan Hao first. GH actually went to SGH to downgrade himself due to some leg problems and is confirmed out of course. But its like GH and i were in the same secondary school and it is really fate that we are in the same section once again. I always thought that GH is a very outgoing and adventurous person, thats y he joined ncc in sec school. But it seems that he can be easily demoralised just because the could not join the navy.
Next its Ziyun. For sure he is out of course. But i dont feel comfortable that it was arranged for our section to have 2 more people to replace those ooc without letting him know. It seemed like his things are still locked in the cabinet and we can't wait for him to return, so that he can open up his cabinet to remove his stuff in order for the newcomers to lock their things. In fact, yang hui is sleeping on his bed in his absence. It really shows how realistic people are, ie once you are of no use, we will just kick you out...

But at least, now i'm used to the pace of sispec. Too much time, too little things to do. I really had cultural shock upon coming here. But the best thing is that the people from my section are really nice people, and we really talk alot of crap during the numerous free time and canteen breaks.
In addition, my new buddy is really a crappy guy. His crapping power is alot better than me. And of course, i enjoyed it. And i soon found out that we shared many similiarities too. Both of us are middle child and did the same stupid mistakes as well. He is lazier than me though... Even our sect com agreed that we are 1*beep*2 buddy cos we created problems for him. I think we can really get along quite well throughout sispec.

|[ zofz | 7:58 PM ]|