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Saturday, February 25

last thursday

My 'marathon' was supposed to end last thursday. i was planning to take off that day and friday and have a super long weekend to rest at last.

It was around 11am then while i was in my office preparing to consume lunch and go for off when my 24/7 operational ready phone rang. Everything changes. For the next few hrs, my phone kept on ringing and ringing and ringing, all from various personel in my unit. It was so scary. All of a sudden, i found myself running from one end of the camp to the other settling various issues or shld i say preparing for issues that will be coming.

It was around 3pm that i at last can take a breather and i sat in my office. At that time, all 3 of my medics and yk was there. It was at that moment, my phone rang again. Instinctively, i picked up the phone during its first vibration, even before my phone had the chance to make noise. Its another of the call that need me to settle something personally. Just as i thought my day can be any worst, i kept my phone in my pocket, only to realise that i missed and it dropped onto the floor.
All of them looked at me, and i quickly picked it up. Nothing seemed wrong with the phone, hence i bragged,'my phone wouldn't spoil that easily'
It was then i took another look at my phone. The ghostly zhenzhi wallpaper i set started fading away slowly. it became darker and darker and the screen went blank, the process took around 10secs.

For the rest of the day, i was totally crippled.

|[ zofz | 9:44 PM ]|

phew!

It is as though i'm running a marathon this entire week. Been running abt in camp, as well as running abt singapore. so breathless now.

marine parade, parliment house, swisshotel, oriental, nus auditorium, ang mo kio, mandai.
To name a few.

Those who know what i'm doing should know what i am saying. Those who don't know, too bad.
I think i'm lucky to have eugchua to accompany me while i was in nus and yc to drop down while i was at ang mo kio. Else i'll really feel very the frustrated. Shared abit of what i do all this while. Poor me...

Glad that i was abt to survive this week. phew.. things will get even more interesting next next week...

|[ zofz | 9:25 PM ]|

Sunday, February 19

Happy Ghost Cafe

Never had a good laugh for a long time. Especially when sharing my frightening experience with my campmates.

It all started off last yr, when jy was boasting about the effort she put in for the event at feb and told me to come down to support. Certainly i promised her instantly. And there i was yesterday.

I woke up early in the morning eating breakfast when the first msg i received was from her.

"eh pple tink you all can 4get abt comin into the haunted cafe liaoz.. its damn not scary la... super sad. cus the cloths damn thin.. aiya i oso dunno wat 2 say lah.. juz dun come in"

Certainly, anyone who first read this will not understand wat she is saying. What does thin cloths have to do with the cafe? does she mean the actress all wearing thin cloth then become not scary? knowing her so well that its rather unlike her to give such unclear msg, This will mean 2 things: 1) the cafe was really horrible that she was disappointed and embarress to let me grace the occasion. 2) she dont want me to come for some reasons. And because of that the more i really wanted to go down have a look and perhaps see what i can do to help.

reached there at 11am exactly, the time which she said that the cafe will be opened. (i at first tot it was inside cine, and i saw ghost making themselve up in the girls toilet. Almost shouted jy's name as i tot she was one of them) It was then i knew what she meant. Cloths too thin (i'm civilized enough not to use the word 'damn'). She was refering to the black cloths used to surround the place to darken the atmosphere. Seriously, it was ridiculous, everyone can see in and out from the cloths. Whats more, the speaker was empowering, it looked more like a disco having a funeral or something. Of cos i think these are factors that they didn't expect.
I can rmb that time i told her to "make the place super super dark, use more cloths and make sure got SOFT ghostly music, atmosphere very the important."
Nonetheless, jy still pushed it on. Was rather amazed seeing her trying her best to improve the cafe as much as she could.

There was nothing i could do then, so i went across to ljs to eat lunch while observing them.
It was around 12pm that i made my move. I must say, they made alot of effort on the ghosts. Ganesha commented (just now) that these girls must be either very ugly or they did a good job with the make up.
I must really comment on the pregnant ghost holding onto a baby doll. The one with messy hair on the pic. (i was carrying the baby while taking the pic). She never failed to pop up from nowhere and scream when u least expected. Of cos, i played along and scream back for like 3-4 times. I laughed eventually but she didn't. Professionalism. According to jy, her name was zz.
Its so fun playing along with the ghost. Doing weird actions and stuff, too bad jy was too busy (or embarress) to be there to see me having fun..

|[ zofz | 4:29 PM ]|

Saturday, February 18

close friends

Went for another security thingy today. Got to know about this driver whom i never talked to before, his name is yt. Ended up talking to him almost the entire free time. Then as i always to do those i met, i will scroll down their phone book to find names of people that i might know and i asked,"who is this AL?

AL is the name of a girl in my primary school, thats why i asked him how she is. YT replied bluntly and said,"she is a stupid girl who doesn't think"

Of cos, curiosity plays and i started asking more. That was when he started sharing his problem regarding this AL, his best friend and some close friends.

He started off saying that there were so close a friend that they were willing to shield them with their own body during their gang fights with a ratio of 7:50 people. But after a yr or so, these group of friends have issues that involved betrayal and trust that turned their relationship sour. YT was so disappointed with them, he told me that he wanted to del away their numbers but he just cant be bothered to do so.

'they are not worth my extra effort to do so'

With that, i told him how lucky i am that i never encounter such problem. (not that i know of really) I made careful selection of friends, that was why i never get hurt from them. Or perhaps that i fear being hurt by them, thats why i made careful selection... hmm..

All of sudden i rmbed of the ghost cafe i went that morning. Then i started sharing my scary experience to him and we ended up laughing and laughing, (even my oic who was evedropping secretly cannot stand it and burst into laughter.) What actually happened during my trip was another story, what i wanted to tell him was that when a friend wanted my support, i'll be there be it needing to wake up so early despite how late i got back home yesterday, and be it needin to take cab back camp from cine at 1pm which is another $12. So long as i can spend abit more time in supporting a friend, money doesn't really matter.
(I will make an extra effort to meet up and support my friends, that was why at times i was angry with those who are late... people like jc especially! and people who is uncontactable like ec and ce!)
It was then i started telling him about my theory that money cannot buy happiness, but if there is chance for you to do so, better buy it quickly as you will regret when you don't have the chance to do so. I stated the example of going overseas, that there are people who are so rich but they dont have the time to even go overseas to enjoy.

I really don't know how come i shared so much of my philosophy with yt. Perhaps i've morphed into peer support mode after my chat with pc the night before.

Then i tried to console him, "good friends will never change no matter how long you all never met or even the distance, as long as you have one or two of such friends you are already fortunate enough, you don't need to make friends with the entire world"
(*i suddenly rmbed i said the same thing to gr 2 yrs back...)

He started boasting about his childhood friends from hongkong... ...

|[ zofz | 11:15 PM ]|

Friday, February 17

what a mess 359726496530

359726496530

The entire week ( and next week) has been revolving around these numbers. Made me so sick about hearing these numbers. 'Monotonous', as my, the level of english is even poor than mine, pc had stummered for a few seconds to recall this word and to pronouce it out.

Surely, no one wants a monotonous life, especially one that revolve around 12 numbers. In for a surprise later in the morning. Lets hope it will be good.

|[ zofz | 11:59 PM ]|

my pc

of cos in army context, pc would mean my boss. We were taking bus home just now when we started talking for the first time. When i say 'talking', it does not mean question and answer session like "how are you doing", or "Do you have any family problem" etc. Its really talking.

I can really understand how the army can actually suck up every single drop of happiness that remains within us. Something for sure, he is truely unhappy. He started saying things that there are things in the unit that are beyond his control, how hard is it to get support and how practical people can be. Things are so horrible for him that he decided to leave the army for good, in fact he ord eariler than me.

I must say, there isnt any people that really support him. He knows.
There are people who never fail to bad mouth him and calling him names, he knows.

As mentioned before in my blog ( i think), it seems to me that i'm the only one who really supportive of him. And i guess that was the only reason why he was so willing to share his problems with me. Its actually quiet hard to believe that someone who you jing4 e2 yuan2 zhi1, can the only time we communicate was when he was giving out instructions, can talk about things that i dont really share.

Feel sad for him. He was doing the things that he liked, or perhaps his childhood dream, but ended up have to escape from it to start afresh, simply because of the system and the horrible people. He is afterall a human. Just like me, when a beautiful picture started to get haywire and became uncontrollable, we will do what we always do best, to run away. Hoping things will turn for the better, trying to cover up that fact that deep down in our hearts we know it all along that it doesn't change anything.

|[ zofz | 11:22 PM ]|

Wednesday, February 15

These few days

Nothing seems to surprise me these few days. bought a packet of Viceroy methol light and started smoking. 2 pieces consecatively. Stared down from the 5th floor and got the sudden urge to jump.... ... of cos the above are just silly random thoughts i was having like last week. Really feel like hitting myself for having such thoughts. silly me.


Been having mood swings these few days. At times i was feeling super light hearted, nonetheless i could feel moody all of a sudden. Not that seriously than how i felt weeks ago. went out with sx and yg and ding these few days. Sx broke his record of not watching any cinema movie since sec 1 just to watch 'i not stupid 2' with me. So touched.

Planned to go to a haunted cafe this sat. A call just now changes everything...

|[ zofz | 10:09 PM ]|

Saturday, February 11

Guess where?

here we go~!
As promised.
I wonder what paradise is this place... hmm...

|[ zofz | 5:39 PM ]|

Friday, February 10

cny visit

we were sitting at our office at 830pm,after our unit cny steamboat. We were thinking if we could leave the place, and where to go if we do so. Suddenly, yg were talking abt zw who was on mc until next week due to his extraction of tooth. It was then, 'Hey!' i thought,' why don't we visit him?'

sx added on and said that he knew how to get there as his house is just opposite his primary school. Of cos at that moment,everyone was jokingly talking abt it, everyone else. I started msging him that we were on our way there. The msg is something like this "....


(to be continued)
(continue 11/2/06)

something like this "Are you alright? we all coming to visit you to make you feel better. do welcome us"

he replied almost immediately, (i can see the excitment of his tone), " When you coming?"

Replied back: "We on our way. Reaching at 930pm, maybe. Dont be touched. We expect good food and red carpet"
zw: "who else is coming?"
me: "medic oic, sx, yg and ur caring 3ic. We there to make you feel better"

*3ic refers to me
anyone with the right mind will certainly be touched. Certainly i can't bear to tell him we were still in the office, as this may make him feel guilty. "We on our way" will be most appropriate as it imply that we will be coming whether he liked it or not.

And so we made our way there. And was greeted by good food. Sx received his 3rd redpacket of the yr. But according to him its 2 as he don't consider the toto ticket from our boss an official one.

|[ zofz | 6:33 PM ]|

Wednesday, February 8

feel so much better

felt so much better during my 3 days break.
WEnt to malaysia (jb) with mother on monday. it was the first time we ever took a bus to travel here and back. Its so much like an adventure. We looked like those country pumkins who never visited the city before, or shld i say city pumkins who never visit the country before... ... Met this very cute waitress at secret recipe, ended up scolded her for serving us the wrong cake and the manager refused to exchange for us as we eaten a bite. haha, this is a good example of food over beauty.

Lazing around at home on tue.
Not totally at home actually, i went to swim play table tennis and shop alone the entire day. Felt so peaceful. It was me and music last week, but for yesterday it was me alone.

Investigation at ntu on wed.
Went 'open house' at ntu just now. My initial plan was to buy some text books to read and find their office to enquire about the scholarship they are offering. Ended up getting lost and the office i've found was not helpful at all. Met ly while wondering around the canteen. So happy she still rmb me. She showed me around, at least until she reached her tuitorial classroom. See~! There is always someone to help me when i'm in need.
Just as i was abt to leave, a spur of impulse came. Putting all the clues jy had given me during the past few months, i managed to find her room! Left some clues on her door and hopefully she can figure out its me, then she will come to my blog and SURPRISE~! (yah its me. didn't want to contact you cause it will not be fun).
I think i can be a good investigator, i guess. It was not the first time i managed to figure the house of a person. The last time was with yy on 1/1/05. Alan and i put all the clues we knew abt him and found ourselves at his home. So cool.

Feel so much better

|[ zofz | 3:35 PM ]|

Tuesday, February 7

Lazing around today

You scored as Count Dooku. Count Dooku: The Traitor Count Dooku 83% Mace Windu 71% Master Yoda 71% Obi-Wan Kenobi 58% Anakin Skywalker 58% Darth Maul 54% Random Jedi 54% Qui-Gon Jinn 50% Darth Vader 50% Darth Sidious 38% Luke Skywalker 33% What Force User Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence. Philosophy 100% Chemistry 100% Art 100% Engineering 100% Psychology 100% Mathematics 83% Biology 83% Theater 75% Anthropology 75% Dance 67% Sociology 58% Journalism 42% Linguistics 42% English 25% What is your Perfect Major? created with QuizFarm.com

Well well, always wanted to find time to try out those quizes which jas took weeks ago.

While doing the starwars i didn't expect it to be something good.

Then for the major one, yah. As i said, i know what i want. I'll be taking chemical engineering with psycho as my minor. Too bad i dont know any Philosophy courses else i may just join (am i really thinking alot? hmm) . Arts? Not that i'm cynical, but at this time i dont think i can have proper meal relaying on arts.

I was hoping to see some miracles regarding the 'english' part, but its seems thats that...

|[ zofz | 7:43 PM ]|

Saturday, February 4

blood donation

went to donate blood once again.
This time i went for the Youth Donator Club (YDC) meeting with 6 other people i've never met before. Apparantly there will be an offical launch of YDC this coming march and it will be a big thing. These 6 people were the planning committee. Was glad that i was able to contribute some suggestions, (rather minor ones) eventhough i spent most of the time figuring what they were doing. They have been meeting for weeks already.



I never believe donating money can help those in need. Cos 1) i dont have the money 2)if money can do so, there wouldn't be any problems in this world.

Its quite amazing how these volunteers work together for this official launch, i'm impressed i must say. Well, i'll confirm be playing an active role for this official launch.

|[ zofz | 8:06 PM ]|

3rd medic

The third medic i've yet to introduce, zw.
We were crapping, as always, during one wednesday night (last week).
Then he suddenly said something worth typing and introduce him for.

"you must fight for your own destiny yourself"

In chinese of course...
(The words are more meaningful in chinese but i think there is something wrong with the encoding of my blog... doesn't seem to read chinese anymore.)

He was saying things like there are people who think that their desired destiny will just come to them sooner or later, that is why they didn't try their best to fight for them. In the end, they will regret.

Well, for me, i always think that destiny is just like the wind. It will come chasing after you when the time comes.

Very tired now, cant concentrate on wat to write. sleeping now. will edit tml if possible...

(continued on4th feb)
yah, i always say, "when fate collies, no one has a chance", destiny is just like the wind. Perhaps, i'm using this as an excuse for not fighting for my own destiny... why does he have to say such sheng ou things that made everyone so gan shang that night..

|[ zofz | 1:16 AM ]|

bell

There was a story i have heard along time ago. I can't rmb what happen or how the story goes, but there is one part which gave me a really deep impression. Its something like that:

There was a girl who was lost in her inner thoughts. Just as she was about to lose herself and gave up, a sonorous bell was sounded from a distance and immediately she 'woke' up and regain herself.

ERm.. yah.. something like that.. i think

Alot of people have asked me why i clap all of a sudden from time to time. (incase some didn't realise, yah ive been doing that quite oftenly)
It seemed only my senior ding had notice the patten, that everytime i made a loud clap, i'll pick myself up to get things going. Especially during times i don't feel like doing anything.
Something like the bell story i've heard a long time ago.

|[ zofz | 12:54 AM ]|

Loud music

Went for some security things few hrs ago. We were waiting for the event to end so i took out my mp3 player (free gift from safra * join for 6 yrs for just $112) to listen. Certainly as a friendly person, i offered yk to listen with me as well.

yk was taken aback as soon as i started playing the music as it was too loud for him. I suddenly realised what i had been doing subconsciously for the past few days. Playing those music louder and louder each passing day.

Actually it started during the period i was disgusted about myself, my mind was confused and i couldn't listen to what my heart was screaming to say. I put on the ear piece to hear the music to distract myself i suppose. Soon i played it louder and louder to the extent i couldn't hear what is happening around me. It was at that moment my world seemed to be ironically peaceful. It was as though the world ceased to exist, leaving only me and the music.
Been listening to full blast music for the past few days already.

Nevertheless, i know its not good for my ears. So i'm typing this down to remind myself not to be so silly again. Harming myself so that i can have a moment of peace. silly me.

yk is just like the bell... that will be my next entry..

|[ zofz | 12:37 AM ]|