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Friday, June 24

Choices

Its one of those times that i've to make another major choice once again. Kind of use to it already. Fortunately, this time there is nothing much that is holding me back or will be making me regret. But i know even so, there will surely be times i miss the things i will have gone through in eod.

I've once heard from a show, which i don't remember whats its name, saying "the best things in life are always the things that you can never obtain". Though i myself feel so at times, i refuse to feel that way. Most of the time I'll convice myself that the things i've obtained are the best things that i can get in life.

Hence, one of the values i have in life is "never to regret". Can't afford to do so. Doing so will surely make me miserable. That was why i was listening to stef sun's "my desired happiness" upon having made the decision. It was to remind me that the path i've choosen will be the correct one and will always be the right one.

cbrd, here i come... ...

|[ zofz | 11:45 PM ]|

Friday, June 17

Just another week

So many things to do, so little time. Time wasted on waiting, doing nothing... Sad, helpless. Need to do things fast and brief from now, I hope. Sh0uldn't waste precious moments, can't afford to do so. Think fast, act fast and do not hesitate.... else the snake will bite. So many things to do.... ... time...

|[ zofz | 9:14 PM ]|

Saturday, June 11

emperor's new clothes

For no reason, i've been thinking about the story of the emperor's new clothes these few days.

The story was about an emperor who wanted to wear a something special to show his people, that was when 2 trickers came in and to make a new clothes for him using materials so light and can only be seen by clever people. Of course, the emperor couldn't see any clothes as there was no clothes made at all. While he was showing off his new clothes to his people, a little boy cried out that he was not wearing any clothes at all, that was when everyone started laughing at the emperor.

There are a few things that i don't feel right about this story.
1) if the emperor himself couldn't see the clothes, that means that there bound to be others not able to see the clothes as it "can only be seen by clever people". If that is the case, why did he wear the clothes out in the first place? there confirm to be some not so clever people around in his kingdom.

2) if the boy was the only one who pointed out that the emperor was not wearing any clothes. The emperor or any other people can just say that the boy was not clever, so cannot see the beautiful clothes. Why the people need to change their initial action of praising the clothes to laughing at the emperor ne?

3) even if everybody is laughing at the emperor, it can just be that all of them are not so clever lor. If he have faith in the trickers to make his clothes and choose to believe them in the first place. Why was he embarressed and feel that he was tricked in the end? he could have stick to his own belief and continue to show his new clothes around.

Hence because of that, i feel that the conclusion of the story should be "u know something was wrong then don't do it, you know its right then do it and stick to it. Its sometimes so silly that some people know that it is wrong yet that still continue with it and vice versa."

|[ zofz | 10:05 PM ]|

Saturday, June 4

no chance to say goodbye

It has been two days since i've left sispec, but it doesn't feel that the course has already ended.
We didn't have chance to say goodbye.

After the 32 km march, everyone was so tired to talk and to express themselves. Even when the posting results were out and all of us should be excited about it, most of us were too worn out to congrats or to laugh over it. The atmosphere was totally different from what we experienced in bmtc. It is as though bslc has yet to end and we will be seeing each other in a few days time. We had no chance to say goodbye. Or perhaps it was just me, for i was the only one from my platoon to go the combat engineer.

It was the same feeling i had when i was one of the few who cross over from 5c to 6d during primary school, the same feeling that i was the only one to jump from sec 1 c to 2b and sec 3a and exactly the same sensation i had when i moved from aj to nj. I'm all alone again. Probably that was why i don't feel like talking during my last day in sispec. The feeling that i need to experience once more made me feel that there was no point in socialising and making friends.

When i was in primary school and early secondary, i used to have this mindset that i don't need friends for they will soon dissappear; hence theres no point in making friends in the first place.
Fortunately, this mindset changed.
Alice teo once said (in chinese), to place it in a nice way, those people around make friend with each other and achieve more; to put it in another way, thoese people made use of each other to achieve their each personal goal. It is just like a fair trade , you serve someone just because you them to like you and to serve you in return. Hence, friends are just tools to make us happy and less miserable. Or is it not?

During the course of bslc, i've met some indian and malay friends. I had never made friends with such races before, no chance to do so anyway. I always though it was the communication problem, that was why i don't have friends with other races before. But i guess i'm wrong. In sispec, it just so happen i was able to socialise with people from other races not because i was able to communicate well but because i wanted to, for that i really treasure it. Though no chance to say goodbye to them, i know that they will miss me and i'll be seeing them soon.


Now the path for me during these two years has been decided. I really hope i'll be able to socialise well with these few buddies for i'll not be saying goodbye with these people and also do well in this two yrs. With those lessons i've learn about myself from my "ren ci" sect com and my interesting section mates during the time in sispec, i know i can do it. For the title of this webpage says "���������宸辫�� 璁╄��宸卞�����"...

|[ zofz | 11:10 AM ]|