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Saturday, June 4

no chance to say goodbye

It has been two days since i've left sispec, but it doesn't feel that the course has already ended.
We didn't have chance to say goodbye.

After the 32 km march, everyone was so tired to talk and to express themselves. Even when the posting results were out and all of us should be excited about it, most of us were too worn out to congrats or to laugh over it. The atmosphere was totally different from what we experienced in bmtc. It is as though bslc has yet to end and we will be seeing each other in a few days time. We had no chance to say goodbye. Or perhaps it was just me, for i was the only one from my platoon to go the combat engineer.

It was the same feeling i had when i was one of the few who cross over from 5c to 6d during primary school, the same feeling that i was the only one to jump from sec 1 c to 2b and sec 3a and exactly the same sensation i had when i moved from aj to nj. I'm all alone again. Probably that was why i don't feel like talking during my last day in sispec. The feeling that i need to experience once more made me feel that there was no point in socialising and making friends.

When i was in primary school and early secondary, i used to have this mindset that i don't need friends for they will soon dissappear; hence theres no point in making friends in the first place.
Fortunately, this mindset changed.
Alice teo once said (in chinese), to place it in a nice way, those people around make friend with each other and achieve more; to put it in another way, thoese people made use of each other to achieve their each personal goal. It is just like a fair trade , you serve someone just because you them to like you and to serve you in return. Hence, friends are just tools to make us happy and less miserable. Or is it not?

During the course of bslc, i've met some indian and malay friends. I had never made friends with such races before, no chance to do so anyway. I always though it was the communication problem, that was why i don't have friends with other races before. But i guess i'm wrong. In sispec, it just so happen i was able to socialise with people from other races not because i was able to communicate well but because i wanted to, for that i really treasure it. Though no chance to say goodbye to them, i know that they will miss me and i'll be seeing them soon.


Now the path for me during these two years has been decided. I really hope i'll be able to socialise well with these few buddies for i'll not be saying goodbye with these people and also do well in this two yrs. With those lessons i've learn about myself from my "ren ci" sect com and my interesting section mates during the time in sispec, i know i can do it. For the title of this webpage says "���������宸辫�� 璁╄��宸卞�����"...

|[ zofz | 11:10 AM ]|