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Friday, January 13

Coming back home

Was suddenly reminded of another thing upon coming back home. Thanks to mother who was preparing strange food all of a sudden. Today is the death day of one of my relative. Blood wise he is close, relationship wise, though i see him every yr i've never talk to him. Either way, it has been a yr now.

I went thru my past entries to find out what i've wrote last yr as i know i would have written something. Nonetheless, realised that i've started this blog last yr feb.

As mentioned, i've not cried due to emotion for more than 10 yrs. That funeral was the one which i have the urge to do so. It was not because he was gone, but because of the life he lived compared with the funeral he had.

What for having a grand, big scale funeral when he was being neglected during the final yrs of his life?

And when i say grand and big scale, i really meant it. With bridge constructed for the ritual, the entire percussion and band, relative whom i've never seen in my life dug out just to attend the ritual. A total of 20-30 people. The entire 2-3 days of ritual was just hypocrisy. everything was So fake. And the phrase i always used 'deception of beauty'.

I always gave a sigh everytime my bus passed by his old home at tampines. At times i would just forgotten about his death and though that i might just see him walking along the road while i took the bus from my camp to the mall. Sigh even greater upon recalling that he doesn't exist anymore. From time to time, i was reminded of a nursing home i have just beside my camp. It is a place i try to forget as this exact place was his final resting place. I really don't know what to feel.

We had never spoken to each other. Strangely, his death had taught me a lesson, a lesson i'll not forget. It is as though he is speaking to me. Perhaps what was said is true, upon one's death, those who live gets stronger.

|[ zofz | 9:44 PM ]|